I started this blog back when it was still on MSN Spaces to document my senior year struggle. At the time, the biggest challenge in front of me was trying to get through the last year of my painstakingly difficult college life. I wasn’t the happiest girl in town. I felt lost and alone, with no one to turn to. And then I was faced with the biggest challenge of all–realizing that you cannot rely on anyone but yourself.

I had that mindset with me for a while and the whole “gnarly” thing just stuck. My blog, my thoughts. If you don’t like it, take a hike. And with that I pulled through it. A senior project that needed 8 people to finish was left to just me and I did it and I graduated.

If you go back into the old posts, you could see that they were more frequent, and at the same time more personal. The blog became my thought outlet–a place where I would pull out whatever I thought, whatever I saw and projected onto here as a way to be heard–to not feel alone.

And it worked. I met new people through here. I met people through the people I knew through here. Here was where I first realized my desire of becoming a BK Magazine intern and I did. The internship became a job. The job led to more contacts and more jobs. Without this blog and “Gnarly Kitty” I wouldn’t have the job I have today.

When my real life started, real experiences emerged, and I no longer needed this blog to be my companion, to be someone I turn to. I had an outlet where I could write and be heard. And I had someone to turn to. It was no longer just me.

I started blogging less and less. Like someone had said to me, it was because I started having a life. But one thing for sure, Gnarly Kitty in me never left. It started turning up everywhere–Twitter and in real life–and in the end the moniker just took over. Though like I said, without it I wouldn’t have the job I have today. But it also means I wouldn’t have ended up feeling exactly the same as I did when I started blogging. And now blogging doesn’t help get out of this anymore.

This blog was never political or anything of a serious sort. It was just me talking about things that happened in my life. A coup here, an ICT minister there, and a few articles and a book mention in between, so it did get its spotlight but I was never paid to do any of this for anyone. I did it for me. No one is depending on this blog, not even me. And now that I feel like it doesn’t really do much for me anymore, and that it no longer serves its original purpose, I feel like it’s time to leave it at this so I can focus on my real life–the one that really needs my attention.

I’m keeping it online though. There are still links coming in. And since “gnarlykitty” has basically been my only moniker, I can’t just let it disappear into oblivion. The blog just seems like the most logical choice to forgo first.

Personal blogs are dying anyway–especially when you don’t really have a thematic topic. And since my citizen journalism days were long gone, there’s just really no need to keep this one when I can sum everything up in 140 characters or through pictures. And even those I’m already doing less on them.

If it was meant to be, we would be together again. I hope. I still do.