Lame blog post title I know.

But guess what? At least my writing isn’t too lame for CNN’s new online guide to Asia.

Yeah, OK. It’s not CNN CNN but it still has the same logo, and to be honest, it’s nice to have this brand on your resume.

After three years of ranting and bitching and pissing off Bangkok’s sub-cultures of sexpats and most recently IT people, my blog somehow has given me more opportunity than shutting them out. Because that’s how my lovely CNNGo editor found me.

But now that I’ve met her in real life (yes we’d been working together already for months before finally meeting her. This is some real 21st century working environment we’re having) I now know why she got picked to be the woman behind Bangkok’s edition of this quirky, snappy, witty CNN website. And most importantly, why she picked ME.

She’s just like me. Only whiter and Canadianer. She swooned over my 3rd hand designer find (which she kind of funded), she gobbles down a Burrito like there’s no man watching, and best of all, despite indirectly coming into contact with my bitchiness daily on my blog and Twitter, she still considers me a valuable laborer. I love you, too, Karla!

The website rocks by the way. It offers the best in dining, drinking, eating, playing, shopping, sleeping, sightseeing in six different Asian cities–Bangkok, Hong Kong, Mumbai, Singapore, Shanghai and Tokyo. And we’re not talking about Jatujak and Wat Prakaew here. Instead of Bed Supperclub, it recommends Lollipop. Instead of Blue Elephant it recommends street food.

But one concern I have after digging through other cities on the site; Bangkok seriously lacks local writers.

When I say local I mean Thai. I’m not boasting here OK but according to Karla, I am the only writer with a Thai National ID. Other writers on board are established foreign journalists in Bangkok, I mean people who actually wrote/write for real magazines and newspapers like Bangkok Post, NYT and such. And I’ve met some of them and to be honest they know more Thai slangs and hole-in-the-wall places than I do so I’m not doubting their cred. I just feel bad being the only one with a 11-character lastname on CNNGo byline.

Out of I don’t know how many Thai friends I have growing up with, I only know TWO who like to write. And no they don’t do it for a living. Most of my friends are now either working for agencies, PR companies or hotels–you know fancy work places where you’re wearing jackets and heels to work. Just today I met a middle school friend on the skywalk. She was wearing a dress, with pearls, stilettos and face all made up. I was in an old t-shirt, old-jeans, a pair of sneakers and hair I haven’t combed in two days.

But then again I kind of understand. I’ve been writing for more than two years and my salary has only just recently matched a friend’s paycheck when she was still just a hotel management trainee.

One solution left for starving, designer-bag craving writer like me–multi-tasking.

I haven’t had much time for CNNGo lately thanks to the new mag I’m staff writer at and I’m feeling like I’m jumping ship but seriously, who’s that stupid to give up CNN(Go)?

Karla, give me more jobs please. I saw this 1998 Chanel the other day…

——

PS. How could Carrie Bradshaw afford all those Manolos?

Srinakarin road is known for some crazy driving. Well to me at least because that’s one of the routes I use to get home on Pattanakarn. The Srinakarin I’m talking about is the one between Ramkhamhaeng and Pattanakarn, with an intersection in the middle that branches out to Krungthep Kritha on the left and the big wide road that leads to ABAC Hua Mak Campus on the right.

I was coming from Lam Sali in Ramkhamhaeng going home. It was raining pretty badly so the roads were flooded so the traffic wasn’t as flowing as it usually is. I was nearing the said junction, right behind a taxi, when suddenly I saw a silver pick-up with a dented left door quickly approaching the taxi in front of me from the right. At this point we were greenlight, so it was more than wrong for this pickup to want to cut off the taxi to get into Krungthep Kritha.

I thought he was drunk. That’s a pretty logical thinking, considering the amount of crazy drivers, wicked accidents and manic races I had witnessed in this area. Everything seemed rather “normal” for an intense Saturday night in a rather rugged neighborhood until I saw that there was another car right behind this crazy pickup, equal at speed, ready to cut off the traffic like the one in front of him.

Then right when both of them were trying to get pass the slow moving traffic, my traffic, into Krungthep Kritha, I heard, loud and clear, two gun shots.

Gun. Fucking. Shots.

View Shooting in a larger map
(Me pink, Taxi blue, flame shooting, and red line for the chase from left of map to right.)

The pickup behind it had its passenger window down. I didn’t see if the pickup in front was reacting or anything. I didn’t even get to see their license plates.

Mind you this is a rather busy junction. At that moment, there were buses, motorcycles, loads of passenger cars, a guy on a bicycle and a big windowless song thaew full of people.

No one moved. No one reacted. When they went into the Soi, everyone just went and continued along the traffic.

I called Jor Sor Roi, which took me a good 3 minutes before it finally got through. By the time someone picked up I was already on Pattanakarn away from it all. And according to Jor Sor Roi, this had not yet been reported. I mean come on, taxis with radios and no one tipped the station?

That was just surreal. The gun shots sounded exactly like in the movies. I have had my share with crazy drivers but this was just off the wall. Has my hood turned into the ‘hood?

I don’t know how to get the followup on this, except to watch out for the news of a dead guy in a silver pickup in Krungthep Kritha.

Funniest thing. One of the first thoughts was pick up my iPhone, snap and tweet. But then conscience kicked in so dialed traffic report radio instead. And all this happened at a busy junction, with a huge ass police station right smack in the middle of it all.

Amazing Thailand.

Found this really nice collage on BangkokBugle.

Thailand's Pride and Joy

Awesome. Good job redshit.

Or at least that’s what we’re being assured by the government.

I am in awe at how incompetent our police and soldiers and law enforcers are. I mean I have always known they are useless to some extend, but really to have your fire trucks, public buses and army tanks climbed on and hijacked so easily, how can we ever feel safe in this city?

Two days ago we were out shopping at Tha Prachan when I was told the tanks were coming to the area and that state of emergency was declared. And I tell you we were just on the Chor Por Ror and Phitsanulok just at most 30 minutes before it all started but somehow all the way back into the city we found these roads all blocked and flocked with our nation’s finest rednecks.

To be able to block such big roads is such little time is amazing. What did the cops do, just watched? What did the soldiers do when they started climbing the tanks, just watched?

Amazing Thailand really, I am impressed by how awfully incompetent this whole nation is.

OK, thanks to Marky who finally made those soldiers do their job, I’m glad it all worked out with no casualties–at least not by the hands of the government’s side.

And really do you really believe they were for real when they “surrendered”. Come on, don’t let this stupidity drag on.

It’s come to the point that I wonder why Thaksin is still alive. His daughter is on Facebook, along with hundreds, even thousands, of other twenty-something Bangkokians whom her dad pissed off this week, I am sure he’s not that hard to find, especially when she keeps updating her status about what she’s doing and where, and at times complete with pictures of herself and daddy.

One other thing that pissed me off. Where the fuck was the PAD? You guys were all balls when it was your turn, closing down airports and things, but when your enemies were out torching buses, where were you? Watching the whole ordeal in the comfort of your Hua Hin resort homes?

This country pisses me off each day I grow older.

So Marky Mark just declared April 10 a holiday. It’s not like this year’s Songkran is going to be any safer, more of a morally festive event than before. It’s just another excuse for these protesters to go crazy.

I am annoyed.

When I was away in Cha-am last weekend, it was raining out so I was stuck at the resort with a news freak who couldn’t stop watching BBC.

And what did I see? Protests, protests and protests. Strasbourg, London, etc. People are protesting everywhere.

OK burning buildings and wrecking cars aren’t exactly a model conduct but at least they had a real purpose or goal for their protests. For our beloved colored-shirted crowd? Not so much.

People are blaming the UDD for crippling Bangkok today and how stupid they are for doing so. Hello? Don’t you remember the Suvarnabhumi incident? Or now that the yellows won it was all forgiven?

My mom’s cousin and her husband are here honeymooning. Instead of a tour of Wat Prakaew and the beautiful Rattanakosin Island, where did they end up? Siam Paragon then stuck in a taxi for another two and a half hours.

Fuck this shit. I mean seriously. Why don’t you reds and yellows just battle it out. Give these teams a designated space, and just let them go wild at each other. No interference from police, military, government, NO ONE, and see what happens. Idiots will cancel each other out and the civilized ones will survive and continue to evolve.

I’m sorry but seriously, among those 3,000 people in the streets of Bangkok, how many of them actually truly honestly give a shit about what is being protested and not what is being told to them. Heck, my maids were just there for free food and celebrity appearances at first but now that they’d been fed with constant vocal propaganda each time they queued for their bowl of noodles, they now can’t seem to stop praising the cause and The Man. Look at the street vendors selling the red shirts and headbands. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the same ones selling yellow shirts and clappers a few months ago.

Stop being such a sheep. If you don’t really know what each side represents then don’t fucking join the march. It annoys us colorless crowd.

Thanks for the holiday but I’d rather be working than being confined and confused in my own city.